preparing for the holidays + planetbox raffle (4:30pm)

The holidays are almost here. They are hard this year and it's a bittersweet feeling. I had been so eager to see both of my kids on Santa's lap, both of my kids opening presents on Christmas. This year, of course, and for the rest of my life. There is sadness over the holidays this year because none of those things will happen. Not this Christmas and not any Christmas. It's a hard thing to balance because I have Ethan.

I have Ethan who is 3 1/2 and looking forward to Christmas, Hanukkah, even Kwanzaa, so feverishly that every day he wonders if today is the day. An hour will pass and he'll ask "now is it?" His dreams are cluttered with thoughts of Santa and reindeer and presents and menorahs and all of the excitement that he feels when he walks through Target with me. There is magic in his eyes and awe in his heart and I try to breathe that in and create it all for him. We make ornaments each day. We wrap gifts together. We sing holiday songs and bake cookies that we disperse to anyone who will take them.

He goes to sleep and I am left thinking about how Wylie won't open any gifts this year. Not this year, not next year, not 50 years from now. She will never experience the happiness that Ethan feels just strolling through Home Depot, captivated by the twinkling lights and songs about snow we just aren't going to get here in Florida.

I have heard from people who have also suffered a loss, some who have lost their only surviving children, that the holidays are brutal because their child remains unremembered. I have heard that there are no presents, no mention, no name written on a card and how that hurts. If you know someone who has lost a child, remember them this holiday season. Pay it forward. Send a donation to a charity in their name. Give them a present this year because it will be the best gift their parent will receive.

And have patience. Understand the holidays are painful. Don't get angry when a grieving friend declines an invitation to a holiday party. Don't get frustrated if they don't send a card. Don't take it personally if they aren't as much as fun as they were prior to their loss. I have already been on the receiving end of not doing enough for other people as I try to make sense of it all. It isn't an easy road to walk. Sometimes presence, patience, sharing of a memory can be the best gift for someone you love.

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I'm excited to bring you another raffle, this time from PlanetBox

PlanetBox are giving away their Rover complete lunch set which includes a lunchbox, magnets, dipper set and carry bag, a $60 value.

Congratulations to...

#175, Symantha Gruszczynski